A Bit of Fun: Foods in Different Universities

 

Foods in Different Universities

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How  to make a woman happy?

 

 

In order to make a woman happy, a man needs to be :

 

A friend

A sympathetic person

A lover

A brother

A father

A professor

A chief

An electrician

A piper

A carpenter

A mechanic

A home designer

A fashion professor

A psychologist

A doctor

A good listener

An organizer

A good father

A very neat person

An athlete

A kind man

A Healthy person

A Brave man

A careful person

A clever person

A cute man

A humor one

An innovative person

A kind man

A strong man

An understanding man

A patient one

A cautious one

An ambitious person

A talented one

A brave man

A definite man

A trustworthy person

A truthful one

An energetic one

 

 

And never forgets to:

 

Praise her everyday

Love shopping

Be honest

Be very rich

Not to bother her

Not to look at other girls

 

 

And he always should be:

Pay more attention to her and less for yourself

Give more time to her, specially herself

Let her go anywhere she wants and never be anxious about that

 

 

And a vital point:

 

Never forget:

Her birthday

The Anniversary

Her appointments

How to make a man happy:

 

 

Leave him alone

 

 

 

P.A

 

 

A Bit of Fun: Iranian Male Students/دانشجوی ایرانی و صد البته آقایان!

 

شروع ترم/Beginning of the Term

یک هفته بعد از شروع ترم/First Week of the Term

دو هفته بعد از شروع ترم/Second Week of the Term

قبل از میان ترم/Before Midterm Exam

در طول امتحان میان ترم/During the Midterm Exam

بعد از امتحان میان ترم/After the Midterm Exam

قبل از امتحان پایان ترم/Before the Final Exam

اطلاع از برنامه پایان ترم/Seeing Exam Time-table

۷ روز قبل از پایان ترم/Seven Days Before Final Exam

۶ روز قبل از پایان ترم/Six Days Before Final Exam

۵ روز قبل از پایان ترم/Five Days Before Final Exam

۴ روز قبل از پایان ترم/Four Days Before Final Exam

۲ روز قبل از پایان ترم/Two Days Before Final Exam

۱ روز قبل از پایان ترم/One Day Before Final Exam

شب قبل از امتحان/The Night Before Exam

۱ ساعت قبل از امتحان/An Hour Before Exam

در طول امتحان/During the Exam

هنگام خروج از سالن امتحان/Leavig Exam Hall

.

.

.

بعد از امتحان پايان ترم/After the Final Exam

 

Bill Gates vs General Motors: Just a bit of humor

 

Bill Gates Vs General Motors

 

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash…….. Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only 20 percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10 You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

 

 

Catch the Cat (IQ Test!)

 

 

Don't let the cat reach the white area

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

 

A small child walked daily to and from school.

 

 Though  the weather one morning was

 

 questionable and clouds  were forming, this child

 

 made the daily trek to the elementary school.

 

As the day progressed, the winds whipped up,

 

 along with thunder and lightning.

The mother was worried that her child would be

 

 frightened walking back home from school, and

 

 she herself feared  the electrical storm might

 

 harm her child.

 

Following the roar of the thunder, lightning would

 

 cut through the sky like a flaming sword.  Being

 

 concerned, the mother got into her car and drove

 

 along the route to her child's school.  Soon she

 

 saw her small child walking along, but at each

 

 flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up at

 

 the sky and smile.

One followed another, each time with her child

 

 stopping, looking at the streak of light and

 

 smiling. Finally, the mother called and asked,

 

 "What are you doing!

 

 

Her child answered,

 
" I'm smiling for God, He keeps taking pictures of

 

 me."

 

 

M.SO

 

 

Sleeping Position

Professor Chris Idzikowski, director of the UK Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service analysed six common sleeping positions - and found that each is linked to a particular personality type.

 

 

What our sleeping position says about us ...

 

Foetus

Those who curl up in the foetus position are described as tough on the outside but sensitive at heart. They may be shy when they first meet somebody, but soon relax. This is the most common sleeping position, adopted by 41% of the 1,000 people who took part in the survey. More than twice as many women as men tend to adopt this position. 

 

Log

Lying on your side with both arms down by your side. These sleepers are easy going, social people who like being part of the in-crowd, and who are trusting of strangers. However, they may be gullible.

 

Yearner

People who sleep on their side with both arms out in front are said to have an open nature, but can be suspicious, cynical. They are slow to make up their minds, but once they have taken a decision, they are unlikely ever to change it. 

 

Soldier

Lying on your back with both arms pinned to your sides. People who sleep in this position are generally quiet and reserved. They don't like a fuss, but set themselves and others high standards. 

 

Freefall

Lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and your head turned to one side. Often gregarious and brash people, but can be nervy and thin-skinned underneath, and don't like criticism, or extreme situations. 

 

Starfish

Lying on your back with both arms up around the pillow. These sleepers make good friends because they are always ready to listen to others, and offer help when needed. They generally don't like to be the centre of attention. 

 

The remainder of those in the poll said the position they fell asleep varied or did not know. 

 

Professor Idzikowski also examined the effect of various sleeping positions on health. He concluded that the freefall position was good for digestion, while the starfish and soldier positions were more likely to lead to snoring and a bad night's sleep. 

 

Professor Idzikowski said "Lying down flat means that stomach contents can more readily be worked back up into the mouth, while those who lie on their back may end up snoring and breathing less well during the night. "Both these postures may not necessarily awaken the sleeper but could cause a less refreshing night's sleep." 

 

The research also found that most people are unlikely to change their sleeping position. Just 5% said they sleep in a different position every night.

 

Funny Pictures

THIS IS COLD FUN

 

 

 

DON'T KID ME

 

THIS IS SOFT MAN

 

 

 

LIKE MY HAIR STYLE

 

 

 

DON'T WE LOOK ALIKE

 

 

 

I'M THINKING ABOUT U

 

 

 

WILD PARTY LAST NIGHT

 

 

 

GUESS WHO

 

 

 

TOO MUCH DANCING

 

 

 

I'LL BE AN ACTRESS SOON

 

 

 

 

Give me a bite

 

Delicious

 

Wanna give A KISS

 

 

DON'T WANA HEAR ANY MORE LIES

 

 

I'LL NOT DO IT AGAIN

 

 

WHAT FUNNY SOCKS

 

 

OOHHH so tired

 

 

WHO WROTE THIS

 

 

P.A

Fun With the Names Of the Car

 

Names of the Cars

TOYOTA : The One You Only Trust Always


HYUNDAI : Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

OPEL : Old People Enjoying Life

FIAT : Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

KIA : Killed In Accidents

FORD : Fix Or Repair Daily

HONDA : Hanged Over Now Driving Away

BMW : Brings Me Women

VOLVO : Very Old Looking Vehicular Object

Volkswagen GOLF : Girls Only Love Fun - 

AUDI : Another Ugly Deutsche Invention

SAAB : Svenska Aeroplan Aktie Bolaget - Swedish Aeroplan Stock Company


PONTIAC : Poor Old Nigger Thinks It`s Cadillac

BUICK : Big Ugly Indestuctible Car Killer

DODGE : Dead Old Dog Going East

SUBARU : Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

LOTUS : Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious

GM (General Motors) : Greatest Mistake

 
P.A

An Interesting English Sentence

"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing

handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality

counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes

intercommunications incomprehensibleness."

"نمیدانم این دكترهای خانوادگی این دست خطهای گیج کننده را از کجا کسب میکنند.با این حال سواد پزشکی انها غیر قابل کشف بودن این دست خط ها را جبران کرده و بر غیر قابل کشف بودن انها ( دست خط ) برتری میجوید."

Now 1001 all over the world

 

 

 

 

 

Please see the rest by clicking here or continue

 

ادامه نوشته

signs you are old

10 Signs You Really Are Old

 

1.     You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

2.     Turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones.

3.     You read the obituaries to find eligible women.

4.     Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.

5.     Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

6.     The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

7.     A beautiful girl walks by and nothing

8.     You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.

9.     You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

10.   All the names in your little black book end with MD (mentally deficient).

 

1001

 

 

 

 

 

What I have learned from Group A

 

What I have learned from Group A

Miss F. Ab: I learned to love everybody,  to transmit positive

energy.

 

Ms F. Al: I learned to think and then to act. I learned how

 

to be a commander!

 

Miss P. Ar:  I learned to be who/what I am. I learned to put

my masks away!

 

Miss B. Ba: I learned to look at the moon not to the tip of the

finger. I learned glass is necessary to drink water!

 

Miss M. Ho: I learned to have courage. I learned not to

 

go on any website!

 

Miss S. Je: I learned not to speak, but to act.

Ms A. Mo:  I learned to speak only when it is necessary.

Miss F. Po: I learned  different people have different ideas.

Miss M. Sa: I learned studying is the best way of success.

Miss R. Sho: I learned everybody should do their own jobs.

Mr. J. Ah: I learned to find a solution, not to wipe the

 

question.

Mr. Kh. An: I learned movies are visual books.

Mr. M. Do: I learned that 0 (num zero) and O (letter O) are

different and they have different functions!

Mr. R. Ka: I learned that distance is different in different

geographic areas, for example 1km on land is equal to 15 km over

sea! There is lots of money in rice trading! (Excuse me Reza!)

Mr. R. Na: I learned that to speak English is far easier than

Persian!

Mr. F. Sa: I learned: All for one and all for one!

Mr. M. Sa: I learned all the creatures on earth are good.

 

Mobina's Father Mr. R. Sa: I learned without

 

double-crossing, affairs do not progress! I learned how to

 

manage bold guys!

 

Mr. M. Sha: I learned:

Yashaaaaaaaaasin                                          rutxariT !

 

Mr. Y.S.S: I learned Binab (Bonab) is better than Maraghe!

How to translate!

 

Mr. A. Re: I learned: yel Yatar tufan yatar yatmaz tiraxtur

parchami!

 

Mr. E.Yu:  I learned to be a real Muslim! Orumieh is the best

city.

 

Group A:

 

 

I have the best memory of the world

 

and life is worth living.

 

Can you raed tihs?

 

 

Can you raed tihs?  Olny srmat poelpe can.  I cdnuolt

blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was

rdanieg.  The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid,

aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it

deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the

rghit pclae.  The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll

raed it wouthit a porbelm.  Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid

deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. 

Amzanig, huh?  Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was

ipmorantt.

 

 

Tongue Twisters

 

 

1 - Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper

picked?

 

 

---

 

 

2 - How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

 

 

---

 

 

3 - Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of

thorns and thistles thumped and thundered

threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the

thug - although, theatrically, it was only the

thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through

the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year

old thug thought of that morning.

 

 

---

 

 

4 - Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

 

 

---

 

 

5 - How many cookies could a good cook cook If a

good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could

cook as much cookies as a good cook who could

cook cookies.

 

 

 

 

Who is Mr. Bean?

Mr. Bean

Mr. Bean is a British comedy television series of 14 half-hour episodes starring Rowan Atkinson as the eponymous title character. It was written by Rowan Atkinson, Robin Driscoll, Richard Curtis and Ben Elton. The self-titled first episode was broadcast on 1 January 1990, with the final episode, "Goodnight, Mr. Bean", on 31 October 1995. Rowan Atkinson was born on a farm in Durham on January 8th, 1956. He got his Electrical engineering degree on Oxford university. His comedy career started at the Edinburgh fringe. He was also a late member of "Monty Python". Rowan is a comedian in Blackadder and Mr. Bean. He has made an appearanced in a couple of big films (Four Weddings And A Funeral, The Lion King), but he got to play some serious parts in these movies which was a bit of a bummer, because his great sense of humour wasn't completely utilized.

The series followed the exploits of Mr. Bean, described by Atkinson as "a child in a grown man's body", in solving various problems presented by everyday tasks and often causing disruption in the process.

During its five-year run the series gained large UK audience figures, including 18.74 million for the 1992 episode "The Trouble With Mr Bean", and was the recipient of a number of international awards, including the Rose d'Or. The show has been sold in over 200 territories worldwide, and has inspired two feature films and an animated cartoon spin-off.

The title character, played by Atkinson, is a slow-witted, sometimes ingenious, and generally likeable buffoon who brings various unusual schemes and connivances to everyday tasks. He lives alone in his small flat in Highbury, North London, and is almost always seen in his trademark tweed jacket and skinny red tie. Mr. Bean rarely speaks, and when he does it is generally only a few mumbled words. His first name (he names himself "Bean" to others) and profession, if any, are never mentioned, though he has been shown in the first episode to have a strong knowledge of Trigonometry.

 

Fun Wıth IQ

 

Test your IQ with these questions

 

 

1. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?

Answer: All of them. Every month has at least 28 days.

 

2. If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken?

Answer: 1 hour. If you take a pill at 1 o'clock, then another at 1.30 and the last at 2'clock, they will be taken in 1 hour.

 

3. I went to bed at eight 8 'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine 9 'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm?

Answer: 1 hour. It is a wind up alarm clock which cannot discriminate between a.m. and p.m.

 

4. Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?

Answer: 70. Dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2.

 

5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?

Answer: 9 live sheep.

 

6. If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first?

Answer: The match.

 

7. A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What color is the bear?

Answer: White.

 

8. Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have?

Answer: 2 apples.

 

9. How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?

Answer: None. It was Noah, not Moses.

 

10. If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburgh to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, What's the name of the driver?
 

Answer: You are the driver.

 

 

 

S.A

 

 

 

It's about a PHD Student! Poor him!!!

 

 

Before joining PhD:

    * I want to win the Nobel Prize.
    * I want to win the Turing Award.

 

First year of PhD:

 

    * I want to finish PhD in two years.
    * I want to publish papers only in top tier conferences.
    * I want to make ground-breaking research.
    * I want to win the best PhD Thesis award.

 

Second year of PhD:

    * I want to finish PhD in 5 years.
    * I want a problem.
    * Shall I change my advisor?

 

Third year of PhD:

    * I want a paper; I don't care which conference.
    * Shall I change my topic?
    * I want to be known as Dr bhOndOO.

 

Fourth year of PhD:

    * I want to finish PhD!
    * My industry-friends have two children by now. When will I get married?

 

Fifth year of PhD:

    * Why did I come here?
    * Why did I choose this advisor?
    * Why did I choose this topic?

 

Sixth year of PhD:

    * Someone give me a degree!
    * I want to leave this place — for ever.
    * Let me leave.

 

Seventh year of PhD:

    * People call me uncle.
    * She waited and finally married someone else...
    * I don't want any degree. I just want to live peacefully!  

 

 

                                                                    P.A

you are Iranian if...

You Are Iranian If…
JIf you are a car salesman and at the same time a singer.
JIf you dress up to go to grocery store.
JIf you smoke 5 packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke
JIf you pronounce "Sure", "SHOOR".
JIf you are about 35 and have no hair on your head.
JIf you watch Iranian program on TV, but always nag for programming.
JIf you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.
JIf you pronounce "gas station", "gas esstation".
JIf you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone and no one ever calls you.
JIf you don't own a house and have no job, but still can afford a BMW.
JIf your in-laws come to visit and they never leave
JYou parents want you to become a doctor or a computer programmer.
JYour dad tells you daily, "Donyayeh ayandeh, donya yeh computereh"
JYou started college as a biology major wanting to go to med school, then you figured you'd become a dentist because its easier, then you tried computer programming, then you switched to become a lawyer, and you finally have ended up as a real estate agent.
JYou use the phrase "Ghorbooneh Shoma" or "Ghorbonat" or "Ghorboonet" at least 30 times a day.
JYou start every sentence with "Bebeen"

JYou walk down the street with your cell phone in your hand, whereas you could stick it in your pocket or belt clip.

B.B

How To Reduce Stress with the SPARKLE Formula S – Sleep well. Your bed is for sleeping, reading and intimacy. When your head hits the pillow, it’s time to sleep, not think Your bed should NOT be for: watching television, balancing your checkbook, planning the next day, arguing with your spouse, checking your e-mail, or making phone calls. When in bed, books are OK, laptops are not. P – Plan every day. Create a to-do list every morning. This gives you a) a roadmap of what you need to do at the beginning of the day, b) a reminder of what still needs to be done throughout the day and c) a place to check off your accomplishments at the end of the day A – Anticipate less. Recognize the false assumptions you make that lead to anxiety. Will things really turn out to be as bad as you think? Probably not. When you look to the future, visualize success rather than failure. After all, you really don’t know which it will be. So why not expect the best? R – Relax. Breath deeply when you feel stressed. Get up and change your environment, if only for a short time. Go for a walk at lunch. Relaxation means taking a break from what you were doing, not just “vegging out.” For instance, watching television isn’t always relaxing; it can be dumbing and dulling. Find activities that calm your body and stimulate your mind. Create a time for your own kind of meditation. Find a quiet space and a quiet time that’s just for you. K – Keep Anger under control. Be empathetic and forgiving to others when they make mistakes. Like you, they’re trying to do their best. Learn to give constructive feedback rather than destructive criticism. When someone makes you angry, remember that you have a choice in how you react. Instead of yelling at that bad driver who cut you off, do a running play-by-play on his erratic driving techniques. It’s more fun. L – Laugh. Use positive affirmations to keep yourself on track. Affirmations should use the 4 P’s; personal, positive, passionate and present. For instance, “I am a confident and successful manager who always runs an amazing team.” Find time to share a joke. Laugh at the curves life throws at you rather than fretting over them. E – Eat Well and Exercise. Your body needs to be a well-tuned machine to manage all of the stresses that act on it. Avoid eating packaged snacks – anything that comes in a wrapper or plastic bag. Try natural fruit instead. Add more colored vegetables to your meals. Reduce caffeine in your diet. It’s a stimulant and can exacerbate physical symptoms of stress that you may already have. Choose water instead. Avoid the escalator or elevator and take the stairs. Find opportunities to go for a walk. Ideally, get exercise that causes you to sweat for twenty minutes at least three times per week.   P.A

fun

21 century...

 

 Our communication - Wireless

Our telephone - Cordless

 Our cooking - Fireless

 Our youth - Jobless

 Our food - Fatless

 Our labor - Effortless

 Our conduct - Worthless

 Our relation - Loveless

 Our attitude - Careless

 Our feelings - Heartless

 Our politics - Shameless

 Our education - Valueless

 Our follies - Countless

 Our arguments - Baseless

 Our boss - Brainless

 Our Job - Thankless

 Our Salary - Very less

 Our Future - Hopeless!

 

                        B.B